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Ford and her son, both of whom had put more faith in me than I deserved. By doing a good deed for an old friend I had lost two new ones.It occurred to me that perhaps I had been blaming the wrong person. By the time we left for work I was feeling disgusted with myself. I had been the instigator. I was the one who had let Josh watch. Why had I taken it upon myself to indoctrinate him in the sounds and smells during a female's orgasm? Would that experience help to toughen him up? Was it something he could draw upon during those first dark nights in the upper bunk when the only sounds he heard were his roommate crying himself to sleep?I knew that I had been wrong. I didn't blame Josh for telling his mother what happened although I did hope that he had not told her the specifics of my conversation with Colleen, that she wanted me to fuck her only not with Josh there.I was to blame for what happened. At least I had not blamed Colleen. She had wanted me to send Josh home. Why hadn't I. ” I hug them both, ‘You two make me so happy.”If this is going to happen, I need more information. More assurance that this was right. The next day I locate a group of women. It includes some of the women who I spoke with right after the battle about the girl. I walk up to them as I am, naked and fully armed. They make room for me but no longer seem wary of me or put off by my way of dressing.I ask, “May I bother you for some womanly advice?”One of them clearly becomes a leader in the group, “You are a woman. You are a beautiful woman, strong, in beautiful shape, assertive even with the men. And you are certainly a dominant warrior. What could we possibly offer you?”“I have not been what you all are. A mother, a wife, responsible for a family. You seem intent on having this girl, she says her name is ‘Alex’, live with me. That may have been the dying wish of her mother and you seem accepting of that. But why? Why trust her to me? I know nothing of raising a c***d.”“That may be true.
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